Grains of Sand...

While I sat on the edges

And looked across the horizon

The air around, touched my skin

Showing me a plethora of vision and illusion

Life is like the grains of sand

No matter, how hard you try,

You can’t hold them in your hand

It keeps slipping out of control

The little that is left, is all we own

People close, will always be

Is neither a rule or a must

For this isn’t about choice or loyalty

Or even a breach of trust

Be it the air or simply water

Or, whatever we have and treasure

They surround us only till they want

Just like people, who suddenly drift apart

Shaken by a shiver and chill, I realized

I was hiding in a mist

In a blanket of dark, grey and uncertainty

The only light was of my fate, my destiny

---Sriram

Liberated in the veil

She lay still in a veil

While the porch hung from the creaking branches

And as the clouds camouflaged the crescent

I could hear nothing but a slow wail

The noise of dry leaves being crushed

Penetrated the dead silence of the night

Scared I was, and frozen to death

If only, someone could have see the plight

Dead, she was long back

They only stopped the heartbeat

Enslaved, she always was

Death, only liberated her...

---Sriram

Naked and Bare

A lonely kid sat alone in the dark

His forehead bleeding with a mark

Across the street was something, so hollow

He figured it out to be just a shadow.

It was on the other side of a window,

The figures seemed to be in a mellow

and as they danced and swayed

The kid simply shivered and withered

He wondered if it was the dark,

or, was it the blood so cold

While the shadows grew red in the heat of passion,

that little heart stopped its action

Next morning he is picked up by the garbage van

also carrying the wastes of the passion,

While a few leer and drank beer,

The lives of rest lay naked and bare

---Sriram

The first Shower @ Crisil House

Here I sit amongst the intelligent people
Ready to analyze, every single upheaval
From demand and supply to the market dynamics
It is excel and the numbers alone which give them the kicks

Across my seat, there is a huge window
Where I keep looking, resting on my elbow
While the analysts, talk facts and numbers
I am appalled by issues lying in a slumber

A mile away I see greenery and a hill
Looking at it strengthens my will
Up high in the sky, birds fly back in a line
I choke; thinking about what could have been mine

Suddenly I could see the drops of rain
And listen to them as they fell
I put my hands out and closed my eyes
To feel the first drops casting its spell

Minutes later the pain just vanished
And left behind an aroma to be relished
The first rains had created its magic across the sea
I knew it all as feeling a new lease of life all around me

---Sriram

Side Effects of being an Analyst- Part 1

As I sit here in my flat on a Saturday afternoon, I find myself oscillating between the state of being completely disengaged to almost getting churned out in the mix of my thoughts. It’s finally the end of yet another supposedly eventful month with absolutely no head turning events.

From someone who slept only after the sun rose and interacted on almost all the online social medium possible, I have been reduced to an “Early to bed and early to rise routine.”

How unexpected and undesirable of me to sleep at 12 midnight and wake up by 6:30 a.m. This isn’t the day I had lived to see after spending 2 glorious years at SIMSR Hostel where life begun after the 10:30 p.m. whistle by those agonising guards.

My average time on useful internet services (Gmail, ymail, fb, orkut, twitter etc.) has suddenly witnessed a steep downward sloping curve with a bleak outlook on any expected rise in the near future. Such has been the magnitude of change in the landscape of my lifestyle that I have begun to see myself as an entirely different individual who has lost all his basic values he imbibed in the hostel.

It’s been more than a month I didn’t feel hungry at 2 am looking for something to gobble, which I now understand, was the primary driving force behind my sound health and fitness inspite of the nightmarish food we were forced to have.

Only I can understand and feel the unendurable pain and agony of having a 1gbps internet connection with no facility of even an IP messenger chat. I accept that there isn’t any soul in office which could act as a slight incentive to have the facility, yet the very absence of it leaves my heart damaged beyond repairs. (Oh I so much miss those multicasts which I so hated then.)

The joy of reading and sharing the Economic Times in bits and pieces in the middle of class has suddenly vanished as I find myself sitting with a copy of Business Standard and a cup of coffee in the comfortable couch in my office.

After all the unlimited usage of the 3 most important keys of one’s laptop ( Ctrl, C, V) in preparing the supposedly best reports on the state of economy, industry and companies, I am terrorised to even think about the fate of the banks, and the entire industry and the poor unaware companies when they would most probably formulate their lending and business strategies taking a lot of inspiration from the outlook and dynamics of the industry which I will be preparing in due course of time. My heart goes out for them. God, Bless those poor soul, for they are unaware and unknown of the dangerous roads they are about to travel. But, on second thoughts I think, I am not the only one. They have survived earlier and I believe they still will because even a wrong information, if is believed and used by everyone, acts like the universal truth. SO I guess, I won’t have to bear the burden of the entire economy anymore.

And as I look at my earlier posts, I just can’t believe my own eyes. It seems like all my deep emotions have almost died and have been replaced by my sane thoughts. I still can’t understand how I let this happen to me.

I don’t know if this is a universal phenomena and whether my friends too are facing the same wrath of this undesirably noble transformation. Only they could throw some light on this.

For what I know, it is all a beginning to what I feel is “The life of a Research Analyst” or “Side effects of being an Analyst.” For the first time, I cant even think of an apt titlte.

Whatever, it may be I promise you all to come out of this soon J

---Sriram

E Cube: Economics, Eccentricity and Equilibrium

By Sriram Agrawal

A book I wish to write someday in my life!!!

Economics of relationship!

Economics of Life!

Rationality and fate! What rules?

Ideology : A never ending process of construction and deconstruction

Strive...Succeed...Satisfied! The virtuous or the vicious cycle

Life is a manifestation of every single act of ours, every single moment and every single thought we have in that moment!

E cube isn’t some theoretical economics. Its economics elucidated to the Common man. It isn’t just a critique of outlandish teenagers or an obdurate in a society. It is a subtly woven association of eccentricity and economics in the enigmatic behaviour of people in form of stories and passages both related and unrelated. It is an effort to view the self sustaining equilibrium which exists in every form of life and how through all the isms of the world, the one common thread which holds us all is the varying yet strikingly similar ways in which the homo sapiens view their existence. It isn’t the answer to any of the mysteries. It is only a step to help you find one.

I dont know if I ll ever be able to write something on such lines. I dont know if I even a single soul will read this provided it gets published :P

But, What do i know, is I ll make a sincere effort to write one. Lets see... Right now, all my time and enery is devoted to gain an understanding on Power and Coal so that the I am able to give a right call on the outlook... However some day may be in a few years, I do wish to climb and pass the unchartered and unkown terriotiry.

-Sriram Agrawal

The Maoist Insurgency: Has it crossed all levels, or, is it just a beginning?

Every day when I browse through the newspaper to see the dismal numbers of economic recovery coupled with an ever increasing numbers of the casualties from the Naxal attacks, I am not even in a state to feel sorry or sympathize. Fortunately I may not be in the direct radar of their wrath, but, unfortunately, I do belong to one of those states whose potentially bright future has been doomed by political instability and insurgency.

Both Indian government and Maoists have their own stands and so called principles on which they operate and work, however, the adversarial nature of their conflict has cost lives. Lives of not only security personnel who dedicate their life towards our safety, but also the unarmed civilians, who aren’t even a stakeholder in whoever wins the fight. Call it pessimism or practicality, the socio economics and political destiny of these people still lie beyond their reach.
Our most honorable home minister has been changing his stances and probably the death of civilians enlightened him to initiate a talk in the middle of operation green hunt. Though the offer was rejected on the certain grounds, what makes me ponder upon the impotency of the government is their explicit request to hold on the violence for 72 hours.

Does it mean the security force has accepted its inability to protect people even in time measure by hours? And the fact that the home minister hasn’t still agreed on other demands, I wonder if he is waiting to see some more blood to give in, because right now, it doesn’t really look like he has any bargaining power.

So the point is, “Is there a pre determined number of deaths which needs to take place before you give in?” As far as I believe, they don’t have any political or moral or human rights to decide that.

I don’t intend to glorify the act of giving in to the anti social or in this case may be anti nationalist groups of people who keep vandalizing life and property at their will, however, I do believe that when time comes, we need to do whatever it takes to ensure the basic right to people, “right to life.”

Peace talks or force, what is important is that this needs to stop. And it won’t in a day or a week or a month because beneath all this violence lies extreme dissatisfaction at all levels, be it social acceptability, political will or economic well being. Every movement starts with a cause, but, if continued for a prolonged period sometimes also leads to lot of adulteration in the thoughts and practices which is exactly the case in point here.

But all said and done, as someone who has a family only 100 kilometers away from the epicenter and as someone who happens to be a resident of a country which right now is facing the biggest internal security threat (which will continue to grow if unaddressed), I cannot just feel sorry or sympathize.

But then I have an unanswered question, “What do I do?”

--Sriram