As I sit here in my flat on a Saturday afternoon, I find myself oscillating between the state of being completely disengaged to almost getting churned out in the mix of my thoughts. It’s finally the end of yet another supposedly eventful month with absolutely no head turning events.
From someone who slept only after the sun rose and interacted on almost all the online social medium possible, I have been reduced to an “Early to bed and early to rise routine.”
How unexpected and undesirable of me to sleep at 12 midnight and wake up by 6:30 a.m. This isn’t the day I had lived to see after spending 2 glorious years at SIMSR Hostel where life begun after the 10:30 p.m. whistle by those agonising guards.
My average time on useful internet services (Gmail, ymail, fb, orkut, twitter etc.) has suddenly witnessed a steep downward sloping curve with a bleak outlook on any expected rise in the near future. Such has been the magnitude of change in the landscape of my lifestyle that I have begun to see myself as an entirely different individual who has lost all his basic values he imbibed in the hostel.
It’s been more than a month I didn’t feel hungry at 2 am looking for something to gobble, which I now understand, was the primary driving force behind my sound health and fitness inspite of the nightmarish food we were forced to have.
Only I can understand and feel the unendurable pain and agony of having a 1gbps internet connection with no facility of even an IP messenger chat. I accept that there isn’t any soul in office which could act as a slight incentive to have the facility, yet the very absence of it leaves my heart damaged beyond repairs. (Oh I so much miss those multicasts which I so hated then.)
The joy of reading and sharing the Economic Times in bits and pieces in the middle of class has suddenly vanished as I find myself sitting with a copy of Business Standard and a cup of coffee in the comfortable couch in my office.
After all the unlimited usage of the 3 most important keys of one’s laptop ( Ctrl, C, V) in preparing the supposedly best reports on the state of economy, industry and companies, I am terrorised to even think about the fate of the banks, and the entire industry and the poor unaware companies when they would most probably formulate their lending and business strategies taking a lot of inspiration from the outlook and dynamics of the industry which I will be preparing in due course of time. My heart goes out for them. God, Bless those poor soul, for they are unaware and unknown of the dangerous roads they are about to travel. But, on second thoughts I think, I am not the only one. They have survived earlier and I believe they still will because even a wrong information, if is believed and used by everyone, acts like the universal truth. SO I guess, I won’t have to bear the burden of the entire economy anymore.
And as I look at my earlier posts, I just can’t believe my own eyes. It seems like all my deep emotions have almost died and have been replaced by my sane thoughts. I still can’t understand how I let this happen to me.
I don’t know if this is a universal phenomena and whether my friends too are facing the same wrath of this undesirably noble transformation. Only they could throw some light on this.
For what I know, it is all a beginning to what I feel is “The life of a Research Analyst” or “Side effects of being an Analyst.” For the first time, I cant even think of an apt titlte.
Whatever, it may be I promise you all to come out of this soon J