Kashmir: A Dreamland with million dreams.

If there is one place in India, every single one of us has wanted to visit at least once in our lifetime, it has to be the “paradise on earth”, Kashmir. And this is true not just for our generation but for people both older and younger. I guess our elders must have fantasized about visiting Kashmir after every movie they saw in their times just the way we have wanted to visit Switzerland after watching every Yash Raj movie. But owing to the political decisions or blunders if I could say and the circumstances, visiting Kashmir was always a farfetched dream for most parts of my school and college life. With the not so good ground realities and the icing done by the ever selective Indian media, most parents never took the risk to travel there. We came as close to Patnitop which 150 kms from Srinagar all the way back in 1998, but had to retreat and settle for Himachal because of the militant activities.

But thanks to forces beyond our control, the place has been relatively calm for the last three years. Mind you, the focus is on the word “Relatively Calm.”The regular feeds and beautiful photographs I received on my facebook page about my friends visiting this “Jannat” on earth added to my existing resolve to visit this place for once. Now if I were in college, I would have simply packed my bags and gone to this beautiful creation of God. But now that I am firmly anchored to my family, I took another step of calling up my senior who was posted in Srinagar to get some check on ground realities. He was more than helpful and even introduced me to his friend who manages a travel company in Srinagar. Anyways, I promised my wife a Kashmir trip on our anniversary given everything stays calm. After all the doubts and confusions and million changes in the plan we finally reached and enjoyed Kashmir to the fullest and even came back safely to now write this piece for my dormant blog.

Like any place worth visiting, Kashmir has its pros and cons. While its beauty is unparallel and comes as a very pleasant experience even after all the hype surrounding it; one has to be careful to not fall in the usual tourist traps in selected places. However, for me travelling to Kashmir ended up being much more than just enjoying its serenity.

The day we reached Srinagar, it was under curfew over the death of a civilian. You can imagine our utter disappointment when we came to know that it could be extended for another couple of days. But to our surprise our tour guide didn’t even bother. For him and rest of the population, curfew was a part and parcel of their lives. He assured our plans would remain unchanged, and he was right. The curfew was only restricted to the businesses being closed. The usual tourist spots were, as usual full of people owing to the peak season. While driving there, I asked if there was any theatre since I wanted to catch a movie may be late night. There came the first shock. Srinagar doesn’t have a single movie theatre. My instant reaction was “is it because a theatre is very susceptible to a militant attack?” I was wrong. “It is to safeguard our culture” came the reply. I tried hard to control my urge to react. So I enquired if they saw any movies at all. They did, on laptops and Television. I could hardly digest the underlying contradictions. Another thing I noticed was the dress code of females. It was surprisingly uniform. Not one exception to it. Irrespective of the age group, right from small kids to elderly females, everyone wore the same kind of clothing. This was once again attributed to safeguarding the culture. I won’t want to comment on this. In places where we live, seeing a Police, often erupts anxiety and bad thoughts. We often relate them to some unfortunate event having been occurred or about to. But there in Srinagar, Thanks to the Armed forces act,  I guess it’s a common sight to see army, CRPF and police holding automatic weapons and guarding the streets. Sitting in the front seat, I couldn’t help but ask our driver who seemed like an educated man from his demeanor, about his view of the heavy army presence. It was then that he seemed saddened and angry at the same time. The next hour or so, he spoke of the brutalities which we don’t hear very often in the news. He even showed his own bullet mark on his leg. He recalled about the torture his family had suffered and how his father was beaten in front of his family. He talked about people from his street that ran away to the neighboring country to the detriment of their respective families. He recalled how he and many others like him are seen with suspicion, wherever they go. He shared his plight on how they were tormented on the source of funds when he was able to construct a 3 storey house for himself. He mentioned about hundreds of missing kashmiri people. He showed what absolute power can do to a place. He went as far as claiming some of the famous names to be innocent and framed. When I asked him if people in Kashmir actually want to be a part of the neighboring country, he was crisp and logical. “Why would I want to be a part of another country, which itself is suffering from a major economic and socio-political crisis?” But he added, How long would I want to be a part of the country that treats us like an outsider and is ready to kill people just on a hunch or a doubt? He raised certain questions over the rationale of army presence to which I had no answers.

After the end of the discussion, some of his thought did seem to be farfetched; however, a majority of his grievances weren’t wrong. He like many others believe amending Article 370 is good for them even though their political representatives would never agree. He like many other knows, a lot of what happens in Kashmir has its roots in deep political and economic ambitions. He like, everyone else, wants and believes that Kashmir one day could be the place, it once was.

I for one am a fan of Kashmir. I was humbled by their hospitality and helping nature. I was forced to reframe my opinion about the people of Kashmir. In my 6 days of stay, I was gently made to believe through my experiences that people there are far more respectful and accommodating that in most parts of the country. I firmly believe they deserve to be treated well. I shall certainly visit this part of the country whenever I get a chance to meet such joyous, helping and charming people. And I hope I get to buy a piece of land to build my vacation home in the valley of Kashmir. It’s beautiful and really underpriced!!!

International Women's Day: A day alone isn't enough

SIGMUND FREUD once remarked, “The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is “What does a woman want?”

Probably, if only Mr. Freud would have been born a century later in the era where, radical feminism of all kinds seem to have been growing and setting in the internalized character of women, he would not have had to remain in this unsolved mystery and the pandemonium surrounding the enigmatic nature of women won’t have existed to that intensity. Of course the enigma as propagated by the literature and mass media will continue to exist for it has its own capitalistic manifestations in helping the bourgeoisie. And so would for those who claim to be treating depression among the so called poor innocent male members of the society caused by the so called shrewd, self serving female members. Pardon my generalization, for I too stand firmly against it, but at times I take a little liberty to be a hypocrite. After all it’s still a debate whether it is a virtue or a vice. More on that later.

Now, the reason I quoted Sigmund Freud apart from the fact that he is one of the most amazing thinkers, I know a little about, today happens to be International Women’s day. Call it a manifestation of patriarchy, self defence mechanism with a flavour of my ignorance, the first thing I did was to Google. I wanted to know, if there’s an International Men’s day as well. To my pleasant surprise, it does exist. If I recall, it is 19^th November.

Now, ignoring the reason for the initiation to have such a day, which is somewhere related to all the socialist movements and the revolutions in the Western Europe, I rather pondered about its relevance and affectivity. Is it relevant? Yes, it is. Is it effective in terms of serving the intended purpose? I am not sure.

Talking about the effectiveness of this day, there are certainly some beneficiaries. One of them without a doubt is the bourgeoisie, who always stand to gain with commercialization of any kind of feelings or for that matter even a possible movement.

I am not very well versed with the affairs all around the world so would abstain to venture in that. However, taking about the Indian scenario, it certainly is very much in need and relevant. And I am not just thinking about the general oppression of the incapacitated rural women and the hardships they suffer ranging from violence to exclusion. Neither am I, focussing on the urban sophisticated women who are busy climbing the corporate ladder on one hand and still subjected to domestic violence and very much a part of the society involved in female foeticide. Case in point, we have south Delhi which happens to be one of the most developed regions and have one of the lowest sex ratio and increasing cases of female foeticide. And, hence the only change or the so called development and liberation is from infanticide to foeticide. Probably we all know about it, even if we might not be aware about its intensity. But what concerns me more is that we know it and yet we are not even close to a visible mobilization. Or else, we would have had a pan India women’s movement by now.

To all those who call themselves (radical) feminist, I only have one question. Do you expect to achieve any kind of equality be it financial or social until you do not stop bashing the men folks. And more than that, do you even think about the majority of the oppressed who happen to be domesticated in the rural hinterlands and have no idea what does the word feminism even means. Or is it just a page 3 chaos where, you look forward to sit on the highest corporate throne built on the corpses of the existing family structure and the very foundation of the social fabric. And for those intellectuals, who find the family the biggest oppressor to the cause of women, ask the mother in laws about their significant roles in the dowry deaths or of all those mothers who knowingly or unknowingly teach all the socially construed feminine values to their girl child. And lastly, is the liberation of your womanhood possibly only at the cost of the total chaos at an individual family level? For your actions, do not give me any hopes either.

You really want to bring a change.

Stop treating the children just as boys and girls. And I do not mean it only by sending both of them to school and letting them work and inherit property. It is only a symptomatic cure and just waters the roots of capitalism without actually addressing the real problem. The very first gender divide comes in the family when a boy with tears is laughed upon as being a little girl and the girl with short hairs and dirt on her face after a dual is asked to be only elegant and soft. The only real difference is how one does it. Totally ignorant families do it with strict enforcement of rules and compulsory domestication of women. While, a little educated ones do it with tact, stores and a book of morals describing the expected behaviour.

It is not enough to show some superficial respect to women on days like this. Would a friendship sustain, if the only time we show it is on the first Sunday of the August? Would a relationship sustain, if the only time we kiss or hug or care for our loved one is in the second week of February? Or is it justified and enough for a kid to respect his parents and teachers only on a Father’s day or a Mother’s day? And imagine how we would have had grown, if the only days we were loved or cared as a kid were our birthdays and the children’s day? It is great to have a day to express one’s sentiment on a given day. There’s isn’t any harm in that except that a few die hard Marxist would degrade it to mere commercialization. (I did too, but I am no way a Marxist. There does exist some element of truth in what they say).

But the fact remains, only a day isn’t enough. The present condition is a manifestation of centuries of misguided thinking and actions and which today is still deeply engraved in the minds. It is easy to learn new things. But it is a herculean task to unlearn first and then imbibe new ideas in practicality and everyday life. We need more than a day. We need more than an organisation. Probably, what we need is a new thought new idea, a new plan and all of this to be internalized by the 1 billion Indians. Yes, it is not women alone who can, or rather, should fight the fight. It has to be a fight for the mankind by the mankind.

The disillusionment with infidelity

The other day, I accidently overheard a discussion between two ladies in the Delhi Metro, who were conspicuously talking about a couple who were still staying together and decided to continue their marriage, inspite of the fact that the husband was caught in an extra marital affair. The tone of their conversation displayed their hatred to the entire community of men who according to them were dogs and lacked any loyalty. They detested him even more because he was a father of two. However, they were all in good words for the wife who had showed supreme sacrifice and decided to remain in the marriage for the sake of their kids. So while, the husband represented the lows, the wife epitomized the highs of life.

It isn’t any news as such. Probably, with the passing days, such incidents are becoming more and more common, giving a big boost to the disposable income of the ones who were smart enough to spend their parent’s money on getting a degree in law. Infact with the relative ease of divorce laws, they are having a great time so to say. But somehow amidst all this, it still made me think on certain aspects of it.

Is infidelity always wrong and unjustified, no matter what the circumstances were? I had a chat with a female friend of mine and I sought for some answers and a point of view. What if one is not sexually satisfied either due to lack of it or incompatibility in the current marriage? Since she was relatively in the so called categories of people with modern thoughts, the way ahead, accordingly was to first seek a divorce and then venture for the sexual gratification mission. I ignored the sarcasm and asked what if you have kids and thus divorce would mean ruing their future? This time the way ahead was to compromise. Now my point is why didn’t she suggest compromise at the first place and secondly, why compromise at all. Two things come out. The so called list of moralities, values and ethics which we keep using the way we want are very much conditional and can be easily used to prove either side of the debate. But amidst all this I only ask why does an individual have to suffer because of the deficiencies of an inefficient and corrupt system?

In a free market, when you try to bring in restrictions in form of a floor or a ceiling, more than often, it results in unexpected distortions and emergence of black market or a parallel economy for better use of words. And it happens at the first opportunity one gets. So in case of an absence of a black market, may be its just not yet discovered or may the right opportunity hasn’t surfaced. I would abstain from explaining the analogy I was intending to present.

Also, why is infidelity always measured on a sexual parameter? How different is a man (or a woman) who seeks sexual gratification outside marriage to a one who seeks emotional support which ideally should also be present in the marriage. And for all those dreamers who talk about marriage being a bond of two souls forever, please get over it. As much as I myself would love to live this dream, which the literary figures created and made us internalize from the time we were born, the hard fact is, that marriage is an institution created by the society to tame the unbridled human sexuality in the pre nomadic and nomadic phase of life to a rigid structure, and then adding the function of economic co operation and child rearing and bearing to pass on the property from one generation to the other. Well it is a different matter that with the stroke of a pen, the process of metamorphosis began and thus the reason for varying levels of sacredness and romanticism attached to the institution. But, being rest assured, the degree of indoctrination is so high that, there is rarely a scope of an alternative line of thinking. So, no qualms against those who by now, would have been offended and may be already judged me. For what I know, judging shares its own place in the list of the basic instincts of human beings, which rarely get eliminated. They just lie dormant at the best.

As a matter of fact, I do not intend to stand for the cause of those poor bastards who were caught cheating. Like everybody else, I too despise the act of cheating. But I despise it in all forms and do want to restrict it to mere sexuality. But more than that, I despise the hypocrisy surrounding the human sexuality and the act of institutionalizing it. It is relatively easy to close your eyes and remain ignorant or remain disillusioned with eyes wide open. After all, I too am standing on the peaks of disillusionment, desperately trying to figure out something which might not even exist.

---Sriram

Delhi Metro vs the Mumbai Locals

I had been hearing about the so called rapid changes in the infrastructure of New Delhi for quite some time now. Finally I got to spend my last weekend in the city which made me fall in love with it on the very first day that dates back to 14th July 2005. I have always been in love with this city and I still don’t really know the precise reason, nor do I have any idea for my disinterest in a city like Mumbai which attracts a huge population in the country.

Well I don’t intend to start comparing the two cities because I have my own biases. However, right now while I sit in the Rajdhani express with 5 more people who are in their late 70s enjoying their game of cards and with having made quite a lot of commuting in the Delhi Metro, I couldn’t help contrasting it with the Mumbai Locals.

First thing to notice in the Delhi Metro would be the usage of a popular electronic equipment, which basically lowers the overall temperature and avoids unwanted sweating (People call it AC). Life there does look beyond a “Vada Paav.” Earlier, when i used to travel by metro back in my graduation days, I hated all those people who seemed professional with their clothing, but pushed like maniacs to enter the evening train to Kashmiri gate. Well, this time all those people seemed so much friendlier and with heightened civic sense. After being pushed and crushed in the Mumabi locals, any damn fellow traveller in trains in any part of India would seem friendly. Even the ones in Gaya and some interior parts of Bihar, where somehow 8 people manage to sit in a place meant for a maximum of 4 people. Infact, I just remembered that the Delhi Metro doesn’t even discriminate like here in Mumbai. There’s no first or a second class. At some level, I highly appreciate that, especially after seeing how rude and arrogant people can get here in the locals if a person with an appearance of the so called second class accidentally enters the first class.

But my personal favourite about the Delhi metro is that the worst which can happen is to be forced to smell the mixture of different deodorants. Compare it to a heterogeneous mixture of the body odour which one has to experience in the Mumabi locals. And not to forget the pretty sight of beautiful creations of the almighty which you get to see in the metro and which is almost next to impossible in the locals.

No offence to the Kolkata Metro. I have travelled just once when I was a small kid. I have no memories except that the highest fare of Kolkata is lower than the lowest fare in Delhi. Anyways, Kolkata is better suited when we talk about the Bandhs, the Indian culture and the related stuff. Infrastructure is a far cry.

But I guess, now that I am back to Mumbai, life is back on the speed tracks of the locals. In Mumbai, it sometimes takes an entire lifetime for people to move to the fast tracks from the slow ones. (Copied from some bollywood flick). Hopefully I will be able to take it to a track which will take me to places I dream to reach...

---Sriram

The Maoist Insurgency: Has it crossed all levels, or, is it just a beginning?

Every day when I browse through the newspaper to see the dismal numbers of economic recovery coupled with an ever increasing numbers of the casualties from the Naxal attacks, I am not even in a state to feel sorry or sympathize. Fortunately I may not be in the direct radar of their wrath, but, unfortunately, I do belong to one of those states whose potentially bright future has been doomed by political instability and insurgency.

Both Indian government and Maoists have their own stands and so called principles on which they operate and work, however, the adversarial nature of their conflict has cost lives. Lives of not only security personnel who dedicate their life towards our safety, but also the unarmed civilians, who aren’t even a stakeholder in whoever wins the fight. Call it pessimism or practicality, the socio economics and political destiny of these people still lie beyond their reach.
Our most honorable home minister has been changing his stances and probably the death of civilians enlightened him to initiate a talk in the middle of operation green hunt. Though the offer was rejected on the certain grounds, what makes me ponder upon the impotency of the government is their explicit request to hold on the violence for 72 hours.

Does it mean the security force has accepted its inability to protect people even in time measure by hours? And the fact that the home minister hasn’t still agreed on other demands, I wonder if he is waiting to see some more blood to give in, because right now, it doesn’t really look like he has any bargaining power.

So the point is, “Is there a pre determined number of deaths which needs to take place before you give in?” As far as I believe, they don’t have any political or moral or human rights to decide that.

I don’t intend to glorify the act of giving in to the anti social or in this case may be anti nationalist groups of people who keep vandalizing life and property at their will, however, I do believe that when time comes, we need to do whatever it takes to ensure the basic right to people, “right to life.”

Peace talks or force, what is important is that this needs to stop. And it won’t in a day or a week or a month because beneath all this violence lies extreme dissatisfaction at all levels, be it social acceptability, political will or economic well being. Every movement starts with a cause, but, if continued for a prolonged period sometimes also leads to lot of adulteration in the thoughts and practices which is exactly the case in point here.

But all said and done, as someone who has a family only 100 kilometers away from the epicenter and as someone who happens to be a resident of a country which right now is facing the biggest internal security threat (which will continue to grow if unaddressed), I cannot just feel sorry or sympathize.

But then I have an unanswered question, “What do I do?”

--Sriram

A few unanswered questions

When you travel alone on the streets of Mumbai and especially during office hours, even a 15 minutes travel converts into an hour and a half because of the incessant irritating traffic. Often under such scenario I end up having a shirt nap or taking to the auto driver. Most of them are the usual boring ones but sometimes I have come across people who really are different from the marching crowd of vagabonds and cheaters.
A few months back I met a driver who was a graduate and worked with reliance as a sales manager drawing some 30,000 per month. And when I asked him the rationale for his night shift as an auto driver, he gave a simple plain reply; money. Of course he worked that extra bit to earn money. How could I be so dumb in not interpreting that myself? Possibly because I completely blew out of water knowing that even a person earning this amount has to drive to earn that extra buck in order to meet his family demands. Not that I was aghast because I consider driving a menial job but I was more than surprised at the level of determination and commitment he has towards his success. I could only visualize his daily schedule and the amount of allegiance he maintains to his goals and ambitions. And on the second though I realized do I also have that kind of passion to get to the top. Do I have that guts in me to take up whatever I get in a short term and sacrifice my comforts in order to secure the future. I guess not to the tune of what that man possess. Last time when I heard a person needs to work from 8 to 8 in a dealing room I almost thought not to go in that field. I could probably think on those lines because I have someone to fall upon if needed. But then I realized, it’s not the way I can afford to be.
Yesterday again I met a driver who couldn’t complete his education because of his family commitments and does not loot his customers because of his moral principles. He tries to save a mere 300 to 500 everyday which goes into the family of 4. So no savings for him! And inspite of these entire circumstances, he never complains about his state of life or blames the corrupt system around. Probably he is a stalwart believer in the goodness of the almighty. After listening to his story where in I couldn’t find any remorse and knowing his value system I could help questioning myself and people around me on a number of issues.
Where do we stand on these grounds of moral principles?
Where do we find ourselves in appreciating what we can gain instead of endless cribbing about the system?
And for those of us like me who feel it’s important to be a critic have ever tried to move towards a position where in they could possibly bring about all the changes they talk about?
Where do we see ourselves without the support of our parents?
Where do we rate ourselves in terms of the amount of patience and belief in the goodness of the great God?
Where do I find my knowledge of economics helping them increase his standard of life?
How many of us have actually ever thought about people not so fortunate like us and come up with a sustainable solution? Or at least even tried to work towards that!
Where do I find my MBA education useful to these people in even a slightest of manner?
Or to go deeper, how does my overall education help in ameliorating the lives of millions of piteous around who don’t even have the very basics of their life?
It’s not that these are the questions which come once in a while and fade away like the colour of a shirt bought from a venal seller. Some of these unanswered questions have troubled me not since a year or two but right from the day I first spoke in my school long back. The dubiousness of my mind is a chronic issue. And till the time I don’t find one for myself, I don’t have a right to question anyone else.
But I do hope I will find an answer to all of it or at least some of it in my lifetime. And now that I have nothing to say I can think of just those few lines which have impacted my thought process more than significantly
“Our ingress into the world was fun and fare
Our progress in the word is troubles and care
Our egress from the world would be nobody knows where
But if we do well here, with care
We will do well there “

I DO NOT NEED EDUCATION

A year back I was a different individual
I talked about versatility, commitment and integrity
I showed off my style as well as morality
And I wanted to do a specialization DUAL

I thought I ll learn how to sell goods
I thought I ll learn to manage finances
I thought I ll learn to transport cheapest
I thought I ll manage people the best

I asked my mom not to call b'coz I ll be busy
Busy studying and preparing projects
I, certainly was busy all the year round; well
Figuring out why I am so busy when I was never taught how to sell

MBA was/is meant to be rigorous
It was meant to be demanding and exciting
It meant exams anytime; classes night time
It meant a giant leap in the careers

10 months down the lanes of time
When I look back I am mesmerized
Rather surprised; or should I say shocked
I never ever wasted so much of my time

What I did was take an exam every 40 days…
And to do well I wasn’t supposed to understand an iota of concepts
All I did was attend all the classes to get 10 on 10
And to vomit all that I read on a presentation

Must I say I performed well in all the papers
Except the one I studied or tried to understand
Correlation between marks and academic excellence
Was as a friend of mine says, “zero”

Now when I am supposed to spend the next 2 months
Working in a firm to understand the core finance
I am stuck with nothing more than a piece of bread
Which was thrown to me b'coz I am a so called “lucky boy”

I spent days sleeping and cribbing
I spent night singing and movie watching
And now when I realize I stand nowhere
I am looking for someone to put all the blames

What have I done to myself!!!
Commitments changed to compliance
Versatility changed to vagabonds
And “I” changed to what “I am not”

As I listen to the lyrics
Sung time back by the pink flyods
I see the relevance of everyline
In the irrelevance of education sublime

If this is what I gain and learn
If this is what I get to earn
If this is what I acquire as an attitude
I DO NOT NEED EDUCATION!!!

What lies at the core!!! Improper Attitude or a dysfunctional system

As you go through the title, you might be put off by the very thought that the next few paragraphs would perhaps be all about blaming the government and bashing the system around us and trying to prove that the kind of attitude prevailing all around us is just a manifestation of the same. Well if this was so then you must read on further because I can sense a growth of a “not so positive” attitude and perspective, though in a very incumbent stage.

Let us just move out of the macro analysis of the whole system and come down to a very micro level thought process. Let us talk about our thoughts, perspectives, reactions and the overall attitude towards our very own college or about the MBA course as such.

It all starts with getting up in time and reaching the class at 9 am sharp which most of us fail to do so including me. However I don’t question arriving late in the class as much as, I object the pride with which we talk about being late, or, the insensitivity which we exhibit when any of the professors dislike the act. We always have ready made excuses to evade any further question and a flattering interpersonal skill to gain that “one attendance.” But it doesn’t end here. We even go to the extent of blaming the authorities for scheduling the class so early in the morning at 9 am without ever thinking, “Is 9 am to be considered early morning when lacks of school students attend class walking miles together at 7am sharp with no excuse of being late. I know we are probably too busy to ever think about this. But what needs to be though is whether we are late because we sleep late working hard or we do not consider it important enough to be on time. Probably it’s not about reaching the class at 9 am or at 10 30 am but more so about being “on time” if not “in time”

Moving on to the daily chores of the day we often have various presentations to make. Now this is surely the most humorous part of our mba life where in one person has no idea of what is there in the slide of the other person and in case he happens to come across a slide which was not supposed to be his part the individual is blank. I am forced to think about the relevance of such a ppt where we seldom gain any knowledge.

Seems, it’s getting too close to bashing my own friends and colleagues and me myself! So a small clarification. I am no way entitled to do so when I myself am very much a part of it. It’s just a “passing” thought which came to me and so I found it interesting enough to write it down. At least I would realize what I have been doing since last 5 months in a b school which ranks among top 20 in India.

Currently when I am sitting here in the blue auditorium listening to the lecture by an operations specialist, I am surprised to see a large number of my classmates too, sitting here to attend the same.

Well before I make up my mind as to determine what could be the possible reason for the huge turnout of people today let me take you all 15 minutes back. The audi was almost empty and our professor was quite in a fury. He thought for a minute and asked the class representative to send a message that he would be taking a 10 marks test based on the presentation. And in the next 10 minutes the empty audi had not a seat vacant to occupy. I had nothing to react though there was a huge turmoil going deep down my mind. Is obtaining those puny 10 marks , the only objective of people coming here to do an mba. I being an eternal optimist still force myself not to think so. And was this the only way my professor could have gathered an uninterested crowd to the audi to later boast of a super gathering. If yes it simply demeans the very value of the so called highly esteemed industry expert who came to deliver his lecture. I do not have any answers but would love to get one both from the students as well as the teacher’s fraternity.

I want an answer to why do people avoid attending any guest lecture. I want an answer to why the management adopts such techniques to force students to attend the same and most importantly I want an answer to know what is the net gain from all these plethora of activities and mind games.

I want an answer to why do students find everything they are asked to do so futile and useless.

I want an answer to why do both the assignment and the answer to it remains the same batch by batch. I felt the earth move beneath me when I realized that the assignment we were to do was the one which was given way back to 2003 batch and the same fate with the answers. The list is probably endless! But just one last question…..

Where does the problem lie? With the students or with the system or with the attitude per say….

Only you have the answer.

I fail to understand!!!

I fail to understand

Today as I was browsing through the newspaper, I received a message from a news alert site. Before I could actually read that one of my friend guessed the content of the text. He asked in a very plain voice, “Where did the blast take place this time?” I was totally taken aback by his intuitive statement. How on the earth could he guess that? How on the earth could he say with such a confidence that it was about a blast once again. I was still under the shock when the other when said, “don’t worry this isn’t a major one. Only 5 died.” This was it. I couldn’t take it any more. One person talks about the blast without even looking at the news and other is so happy that only 5 died. I sense a weird and eerie atmosphere around me! What is wrong with these people? What was it that made them speak in such a cold manner about something which just tears me apart? Are they so insensitive about the deaths caused by these awful attacks by the so called terrorists! Or, probably have they very easily included the bomb blasts in their daily news gossip. On one hand I find people coming on streets to show their loyalty and unity. While on other hand I find politicians putting this under the category of a small and a trivial event (no matter it cost him his seat). I simply fail to understand the complexity of the human nature!!!
While the recent series of terrorist attacks have cost us a number of lives and a huge loss of property, what concerns me more is much beyond that. What are these terrorists up to? Do they want to kill people and destroy property? Do they wish to prove their power (or cowardice)? Do they wish to show that the current socio political set up is no more efficient enough to guarantee our well being and safety? Or are they trying to disrupt the very basic foundation of human setup and social understanding by waging a psychological war on the common man. I once again fail to understand the complexity of the terrorist’s psyche!!!
The recent attacks have put a few very serious questions on some of my beliefs, rather, the common man’s belief. More than 450 NSG soldiers took more than 50 hours to fight 25 terrorists of just around 24 years of age. And when we analyze the end result, we find no one alive in the nariman house and many killed in Taj. I do not question the courage and bravery of the soldiers. I never can. But I wish to ask the concerned authority why had our soldiers to halt when it was dark. With a huge chunk of government expenditure on defense, why couldn’t we afford a night vision and a bullet proof jacket for our comrades?
Another aspect of terrorism which concerns me is the economic feasibility of the activities. If we were to study the cost they incur in these attacks we could be taken by some real surprise. To carry out the acts of terror they indeed have a very strong source of funding. It is on the country’s government to find out the source and tackle the issue as soon a possible.
Terrorism has its toll on all the aspects of our life we could possibly think of. It affects our economy, political environment and our very legal strata. But more than anything else it affects our social and psychological set up. Probably this is the reason why a common man now has accepted terrorism as a part of his life and is so very complacent about it. Probably this is the reason why we are least bothered about what happened, a week after the incident. Probably this is the reason why the most of the people actually spent the whole day watching movies and surfing on the net and a few studious ones took the chance to complete their pending works. I don’t blame these people for what they do. In fact they are no way to be blamed for if the government itself takes a lackadaisical attitude towards such incidents what is a common man supposed to do. To be honest even I spent most of the time in my room. Unlike others I didn’t even bother to sit glued to the idiot box and listen to what was happening in taj or oberoi or trident. I again fail to understand the actions of people around me!
More than 15 major attacks on the heart of our motherland since 2003 and yet we have the same reactions from the same kinds of people around us. A political figurehead would come and condemn the terror attacks while the foreign minister of the other country will boast of donating 1 bottle of his blood which he feels would bring life back to more than 200 people dead and many more injured. To add to it our so called responsible media will telecast this very new for one full day. I feel ashamed. I feel so not just because I find people around me doing such heinous acts. I feel ashamed not just because I too am a part of this very social setup. I feel ashamed not just because we were the ones who elect these so called “leaders”. But I feel so because I still do not have any solution to this issue. I still haven’t taken any step on my behalf to move ahead on the path of a terror free society. I still haven’t come out of my room to see what can we young hearts do to solve the problem which our so called elderly leaders haven’t been able to. More so because I am still a part of that crowd which just shouts and tries to voice against what is happening and never trying themselves to be a part of the solution. But I fail to understand why others around me do not feel the same? I fail to understand why I was being mocked at when I was trying to write down what I feel? I fail to understand why students try to create a divide on the basis of which state is one from? I fail to understand why we all plead for safety when none amongst us is actually ready and willing to serve the defense force? I fail to understand why people only expect and never really give?
But I do understand one very important thing. And that, is if now we do not understand, “what I failed to understand” then probably, none of us would be there to understand, what I always wanted everyone around me, “to understand”. I know it’s difficult for you to understand what I was trying to understand while I wrote this but if at all someone understands what I was trying to, please help me out. May be it could bring about a revolution, something which we all understand.




SRIRAM AGRAWAL