I AM NO MORE WHAT I WAS…

I AM NO MORE WHAT I WAS…
AS I OCCUPY THE LAST BENCH IN MY CLASS
AND TURN THOSE UNTURNED PAGES OF THE BOOK
LOOKING INTO THE EYES OF PEOPLE AROUND ME
AND INTO THOSE HOLLOW SPHERES AHEAD OF ME

I DON’T KNOW IF I AM PRESENT HERE IN THE CLASS
IT IS JUST MY BODY AND NOT MY SOUL
EYES ARE AT ITS PLACE IT SHOULD BE
BUT SIGHT IS SOME WHERE FAR AWAY INTO THE FIELDS

THERE I SEE A GIRL HOLDING THE HANDS OF A BOY
THE BOY STOOD MESMERIZED AS SHE SPOKE TO HIM
SHE MUST BE TRYING TO EXPRESS HER LOVE HER CARE
AND THE INNOCENT BOY SEEMED SO HAPPY SO ELATED

SUDDENLY I HEARD A LOUD VOICE
MY TEACHER WAS STARING AT ME
I LOOKED AT HIM AND THEN BACK TO THE FIELDS
A MOMENT LATER AND THE GIRL WAS GONE

HE STOOD THEIR ALL ALONE PERPLEXED AND DEVASTATED
UNABLE TO GAUGE THE COMPLEXITY OF HIS LIFE
SHE HAD LEFT HIM NEVER TO RETURN
PROMISES FORGOTTEN; HEART BROKEN

HIS FRIENDS TRIED TO CONSOLE HIM
WHILE OTHERS SHOWED HIM THE REALITY
BUT HE KEPT HIS EYES AND EARS CLOSED
HOPING TO LISTEN TO HER AND SEE HIS LOVE WHEN HE OPENS HIS EYES

SUDDENLY I FELT MY CHEEKS WET
AND I WONDERED WHY, AS A DROP OF TEAR FELL ON MY CLASS NOTES
WHOSE TEARS WERE THEY; I THOUGHT
THAT POOR BOY’S OR MY OWN….



IT CANT BE MINE...I DON’T CRY
I WAS JUST TURNING THOSE PAGES
PAGES….WHICH PAGES WERE I TURNING
THOSE THAT OF THE BOOK OR THAT OF MY OWN LIFE

4 LONG YEARS WHEN SHE BECAME MINE FOREVER
2 LONG YEARS WHEN SHE DESERTED ME FOREVER
BUT THE SWEET FRAGRANCE OF HER PRESENCE IS STILL IN MY HEART
ALONG WITH THOSE MARKS ON MY SOUL

I DON’T KNOW WHAT WAS ALL THAT IN THOSE 2 YEARS
LOVE ATTRACTION OR INFATUATION?
WAS IT THE BEST GIFT OF MY LIFE OR THE BIGGEST MISTAKE
WHATEVER BE IT—IT CHANGED ME FOREVER
I AM NO MORE WHAT I WAS





SRIRAM AGRAWAL