Is Success Self Defeating !

The moment we enter the school for the first time, we knowingly or unknowingly enter the mad rat race. Right from the Monday test to the half yearly and finally the end term examinations; we are put under this constant pressure to perform. As we grow, we are made to believe that all that we did earlier was just a small base. Now begins the actual work. When I was about to take my class 10^th exams, all the teachers explicitly showcased their expectations. One of them even said, “Whatever you have scored till now holds little importance. In the long run only the score of class 10^th will be considered.” This same line was repeated by another teacher of mine when i was about to take the final examination marking the end of the school days. Time flew and in no time i found myself out in this unknown city trying to keep myself together and do what i came here for. Once again it was reiterated that all that i studied in school was only to decide the name of my college. Now they are all history and if i screw up now, my future is doomed.

Well the point which makes me ponder is, “is there a finish line at all?” Does there come a stage in life when I do not have a new race to run sacrificing my present luxuries? Or is life itself a race which ends only with the heart of the individual. Well, if that is true, why do I care to run so fast? If life is nothing but a race, why can’t I transform it into a leisurely walk enjoying the beauty around as I walk past different milestones in my life. Is the absence of this particular feature in our life which makes us crib all the time? I do not know. To be honest I am totally confused. Sometimes I pray, I stop questioning things around me.

A lot of people study hard and make their way up to the top. They begin their journey from may be a small town and go far away from their home to study, to work, to earn, to achieve success. Possibly the reason is because people relate success to happiness. They may to be entirely wrong in the absence of any other aspect in life which we could so closely relate to success. But for an individual who sacrificed a lot of happiness and luxury to work hard and later in life if that is what keeps him away from his family, for whom at the first place everything was done; is not success self defeating ?

A man works day and night to earn a good life for his family and in the process he fails to spend time and love his loved ones. He fails to sit with his parents who sacrificed everything to let this man study and grow. He spends a lot of time away and it often (not always) cripples the fabric of the family bond. The end result may be a broken and unhappy family. Many would attribute it to lack of time management or fate and destiny. Some may blame it on the societal framework while a few conservative raise the issue of a working wife.

But my objective is not to blame and to criticize the system. I am not against the participation in race for I myself am a part of it. May be I am a little scared. May be i am not sure if I will be able to manage my time. May be I am sad about the fact that i will have to work away from my family. Or maybe I am petrified at the thought of being a victim of this self defeating success.

As I am about to step into this corporate world, where people stand tall on the corpses of other people, known and unknown, I can only wonder and wish to achieve success; a state where I am happy and in a position to share the same with my family, my friends and my loved ones. I can only hope to enjoy the race and not just turn blind to the beauty around in the fatal effort to reach the finish line.

May be I am too young to think about all of this... or maybe, it is time I start thinking.

-Sriram