I finally had a time to be “just me“

Moving along the greeneries of campus

I walked and hopped and jumped

Splaassshhh..... The muddy water

And my clothes looked all the same

People all around ran in a helter-skelter

Mostly looking out for a shelter

Hiding themselves from moments so beautiful

Something so tranquilizing, so meaningful

As I turned towards my hostel

The clouds roared and the sky flashed

In no time I found myself drenched

Looking up I felt the those drops of rain water

I slowed my pace in joy

Unwilling was I to enter a closet

The smell of the earth and the chill gave me a kick

I simply felt besotted and fuddled

Suddenly life around was just so beamishly beautiful

Everything seemed so happy so pleasant

Unknowingly I smiled at everything and everyone

As even the grass and leaves smiled back

For those moments I had no worries

No commitments to honour; none to please

Neither did I think of work nor of love or friends

I finally had a time to be “just me“

---Sriram

What could be a possible explanation

Very often the landlords do not go in for technological innovation because they feel it won’t reap any substantial returns as the tenants would not evict and thus continue to pay the same old rent. However looking this from a different perspective we can also say that a rational tenant would innovate. This is because if the latter is so confident of not being evicted, he should logically be ready to spend on the innovation as he would be one reaping all the benefits. But in practice, we see a widespread technological stagnation both in agricultural land as well as urban housing.

So what could be a possible explanation for the same???

Through the kaleidoscope

Looking through the kaleidoscope of memory
Into the oblivion of the days gone by
Life is but a culmination of a few moments
And the manifestations of those we treasure.

Back to the childhood I see myself
Trying to stand on the 2 little feet
And once again here I am, on the crossroads
Of changing priorities in an attempt to stand tall

Life is but a circle of events
And sooner we end up from where it all began
But this time there’s no one to hold my fingers
Neither anyone to catch me if I fall back
--Sriram

I have finally moved on

The day you called me up for the last time
Only to mention that love wasn’t for a lifetime
The whole night I cried, wailed, and wept
Till tears refused to drop and cheeks were no longer wet

Friends had always warned me; Foes laughed at me
Inspite of the odds, faith was all I had
Moments later I was left devastated, wondering
If it was really happening, stuck in the mode of denial

Months later I gazed into the mirror
I shed no tears, I was finally moving on
Only to find myself in an unknown zone
Of contempt, fear, dilemma and emotions foregone

Then comes year number one
I no longer starred at her pictures; neither talked about it to my friends
I was finally moving on
Only to start scribbling the past on a paper

Time passed and I grew stronger
Life took many turns; some good some not so good
But there was this zeal to go ahead of the past
A hope against the hope to recollect the shattered dreams

Three years down the lane
I no longer wish to get back that lost life
I finally have moved on and am happy
Only to still remember her smell and how hard I fell
--Sriram

Once I am dead...

As I listened to some old tracks lonely
The virulence of gloom shrouded me
Unaware, unknown and incognizant of the coming melancholy
I began to wonder, question and excogitate

What if I never wake up tomorrow?
What if the sunset today marks the end to yet another life?
What if today is the last time I could talk to my family, friends?
What if I never get to see that face which gave meaning to my life?

And then a sudden jolt brought me back
Making me ponder and reassure if I was sane anymore
While I did combat with those inevitable thoughts,
I couldn’t help but surrender to my unruly mind

Am I afraid of death? Yes, I am... who is not
But the question is why am I afraid of death?
Would it really bring the world of someone to a stop?
And how would people remember me, if at all they do?

There are answers to each of them hidden in our life
But do I really wish to know any of it.
It might make me happy, might as well gloomy
I just do not know.

My mother would cry for me for I am the only child; good or bad
My dad would mourn for me for I am the light; bright or dull
My friends may miss me for reasons even I do not know
Only for all of it to fade away into the memory lanes

Here I sit clueless with a question that haunts me every single moment
For I desperately pray, I do not scathe hearts of people I care
I wish i knew how would I like to be remembered and rated?
As a son, a brother, a friend, a partner and an individual...
---Sriram

A tryst with the calamitous fear of the (UN)known

Since the time I ever understood what terrorism and violence is, I have been reading about the misery and tragedy unleashed by the naxalites. Very often when I used to turn through the pages of the local daily in my hometown I could see the images of spilled blood and torn piece of bodies after an ambush. Naxalites have been overpowering both the government and the law and order in the entire region and probably it has become a way of life in here. The only feeling or action which was common across all the readers was a “sigh” and all including me were in the delusion that we are close to understanding the sentiments of the affected villages cities or families.
But it was only yesterday when I realized how wrong I was. It was in those long 4 hours drive from Jamshedpur to Bokaro, I felt what the fear of unknown terror is. As my car hurried across the streets of Chandil (a major centre for naxalite activities), I could see the terror on my face in the eyes of a few people walking down the streets. Over a vast stretch of some 200 kilometres, I could almost count the number of vehicles which ran past me. They were not more than 30. Every time a car passed by us it gave me a reassurance that probably everything is fine on the other end. As my car turned and zig zagged on the hilly terrains my eyes kept looking endlessly on those hills which is the abode of the “RED TERROR.” One never knows from where those separatist groups might come in and put in a few dozen bullets in your body. Only a couple of days back, a jeep full of several soldiers were blown apart into pieces while they were patrolling on the same roads I was currently on. Every 10 minutes I used to seek reassurance if we have crossed Jharkhand and entered the West Bengal as the strike which these people had called was only for Jharkhand and Bihar.
Probably it is the first time I am finding it so difficult with the words to express my thought process, rather my fear. I just don’t have the right words which would probably suffice to ascertain the amount of fear I faced.
But while all this, I was forced to wonder and ponder upon the effects, implications and consequences of the distortion of the entire social and political and economic fabric of the country. Political because the entire issue is very much politically relevant and it needs to attract a major attention of any political agenda which claims to provide a safe life to its people.
Economical because only a businessman or a shop owner or a self employed or people on those lines can feel the brunt of not being able to work for 1 full day and lose a huge amount of potential revenue. And if by chance the loss of men and material which happen during all the merciless attacks by these Naxalites
Social because they aren’t anyone outside the country. They are our own people who have lost their mind big way. They are our own educated people who have no jobs to look after their family. They are our own people who might have not had a childhood as good as we had. And they are our own people who sadly don’t hesitate for a second before burning you alive. This is nothing but a perfect recipe which would ultimately lead to a complete anarchy and may be annihilation of the entire social set up which took centuries to be established.
I don’t have any rational solution to this nor was my objective to give any. Probably I wrote this to pay a tribute to all the Jawans who died fighting for our safety and thousands of innocent men women and children who couldn’t even understand their fault before being massacred. And to people living in there who pass each day of their life in a kind of fear which made me almost go crazy and insane in just 4 hours.

Economics of Relationships

Before you read further let me make a disclaimer! The text written below has multiple connotations, interpretations and significance which would vary at an individual level. It might appear to be the stupidest thought to a few, wacky to some and geeky to most people. And there might be a small section of people who understand something of game theory and probably would be able to understand the pervasiveness of economics and its application not only in business but also in personal life.
But as usual it doesn’t offer any solution to the problem. It identifies it and goes deep into the rational of why the problem arises at the first place. Probably identification is the first step towards reaching a solution.
At the same time it also deals with the rationale of the irrationality of the so called rational human behavior.
It tries to understand why some good people remain unhappy in relationships while many not so good people are found to be much happier and relaxed.
Let’s first understand the application of game theory in the world of relationships and seek an answer to the observed behavior of people around us.




Now in the above matrix, if one out of the two is not serious, while the other is the resulting pay off is highly unfavorable to the one who is serious. This is very evident and self explanatory. It’s always the one who is serious and gets dumped cries, while the other partner after having all the fun and frolic moves ahead. Now as a logical human behavior both partners should be serious and committed to each other to attain maximum satisfaction and utility. In economic terms both being serious should have been the “Desired Equilibrium”
However here lies the catch and a proof that the behavior of people might not be always rational and there will be various occasions when they settle for the 2nd best optimal solution rather than the best available opportunity.
In this case there is an intrinsic fear in both the partners that if the latter is not serious, the former would have to pay a heavy price. And hence both of them end up being not so serious in their relationship. This leaves them with no real gains and utility.
We all know that the best utility ad highest level of satisfaction would have been achieved only when both the partners are serious and that is the ideal and rational expected behavior. However the application of game theory helps us understand the irrationality in the otherwise rational human behavior.
Thus we see how pervasive Economics as a discipline is. For all those who have no background in economics this was possibly the easiest explanation of the application of game theory in our everyday human life.
This is what I call as “Economics of Relationships”

P.S. The origin of thought came after I saw Aanand Ji devastated... :P