Sleepless Nights

There are nights when you don’t sleep because of work pressure and there are some when you don’t realize when the night passed away while you were busy watching a series of movies or making love. There are some sleepless nights when you miss people who were close to you and nights which see their end while you keep testing your capacity to drink and dance. And most commonly I believe the sleepless nights when two people in or about to fall in love (or lust) unknowingly contribute heavily to the top margins of the telecom giants. Apart from these common ones, I personally have had sleepless nights when I realized the break of dawn only with the chirping birds disrupting my concentration on social networking sites and quite a few when I, along with my friends, lost track of time discussing everything under sun or moon. Right from politics to economics; sex to society and relationships to pure gossips session the silence and darkness of the night has the potential to take it all. But off late, I have had sleepless nights when I did absolutely none of these.

When I was finally disturbed from my concentration into the vacuum by the trucks supposedly carrying goods with legal permits, I realized all I did was listen to the tracks of Sonu Nigam and write some 5 to 6 pages of some random stuff only to be deleted or backspaced. Playing hide and seek with the stubborn mosquitoes, who now seem to have developed some defence mechanism against all kinds of repellents or killers, I made quite a number of unsuccessful attempts to write something which could probably depict my state of mind.

Right now I am certainly not under any kind of work related pressure because technically I have by choice opted to be unemployed. Or to put it in better sounding words, I resigned from my job to do some business. I thought, it will be a good idea to move from being a person who sits in a huge office commenting on the top line and bottom line of a company; discussing the possible reasons for its performance in the last fiscal and giving a “call” on how the company and industry will fare in medium to long term to being someone who would actually run a company and make sure top line and bottom line grow in congruence with the overall industry performance.

For a change, I don’t feel like watching movies or increase the revenues of the telecom players or even the upcoming giant”Facebook”. Neither is anyone awake to talk about their dysfunctional relationships both virtual and real. And as I write this, it’s already 04 00 hours. Sitting here I now realize a weekend has its value derived not only from the past weekdays which suck the blood out of us but also from the forthcoming week which will once again push us to our limits. Now, when I know that in a couple of days, I will be having some real food sitting with my dad, this weekend just got lacklustre.

So coming back to sleepless nights, right now I have absolutely no reason to remain wide awake when I can have a long duration of sleep. But then who cares. Right now I am just waiting for the most beautiful moment one gets to witness after having a literally sleepless night. The slow and subtle transition from total darkness to the first rays of light which slowly encompasses the entire sky and puts the moon in the backstage is just worth it. Sitting beside the window on the 2nd floor may not be the best geographical location to enjoy the same, but nevertheless, the plain sight of the light slowly taking over the dark night, those sparrows hopping across the pavement in a straight line and an entire variety of birds shaking up the all the branches of the Gulmohar and subsequently the fallen flowers covering the entire pathway is something worth burning the midnight oil for. And even better is to see the sunrise on the Marine Drive, which happens to be a west coast. Well, try enjoying a sunrise through its reflection in the sea water across the horizon. It might as well prove to be more beautiful than the usual sunrise points. We once enjoyed the view and it was totally worth it.

And the last of all, there are some sleepless nights, where all I can think of and do is write something which I feel or think and possibly publish it on my blog like I just did...

---Sriram