Silent Thoughts

As I sit in repose, leaning back in my chair and listening to the tranquilizing music coming out of the violin, my mind wandered across the years and the holiday seasons spent in ways different each year.

Life tends to move in circles is what I have always believed. But then sometimes the run seems to be eternally long, making me wonder if the circle ever meets its beginning. Being the only child and brought up in a joint family, the experiences always used to be at extremes of commotion and total silence. Probably the first time when i moved out of my home, I so much wanted to stay alone, independently that I immediately rejected the idea of sharing my personal space with anyone whatsoever. And I loved those three years of having a room all for me and still never felt lonely. It was a nightmare for me to even think of staying in a hostel with triple sharing, but I was more than happy to be proved wrong. The two years were the best times which gave me the best of my friends who I so wish remain for the lifetime. And then a small duration of the stay in a flat with two of my close friends was another sweet addition to the memory lanes. To be honest, we never even considered it a flat. Atleast, I remember referring the place as pretty close to my home. And then suddenly here I am back to staying in a single room. The only difference being, its not so glorious and fun as it was for the first time. Maybe it is because of changed goals and motives or may be due to a taste of what it is to have friends around you all the time. I guess loneliness is more of a state of mind than the physical realities. As the romantics would put it, “one can be lonely amidst a party of friends and yet feel connected in a barren island.” Whatever the theory is, it makes me wonder as to why am I even thinking about all of this.

And before I could go deeper, suddenly, I am brought back to the reality with the noisy yet sweet little kids in the neighbourhood playing hide and seek. It is a festive season all around and the entire world seems to have gone back to the days when you sincerely believed in the SANTA. I look at those innocent faces wearing the red caps, I look at those gleaming faces wearing a smile and sharing the joy of being with their loved ones. Certainly a festival gives a way for you to revive the torn out and fill the widening gaps. And for me right now, it also is giving me a perfect moment to sit back and excuse myself from any work. A moment to sit by the window, listen to some soothing tunes and relish the memories, the experiences I have had with people so different yet so caring.

Merry Christmas to all !!!